Thursday, May 14, 2009

American Media Has Made Me A Paranoid Freak

So your asking me "dude what are you so paranoid for"? Let Mikey explain it to you. First I have a great appreciate for communal living. By that I mean modern Condo/ Apartment complexes and communities and not hippie communes that my parents lived on. First it minimizes Urban sprawl which generally pisses me off but again lets stick to one topic at a time. Now modern type apartment communities almost treat you with some decency. They often have patios or decks, central air, garages and washer/ dryers. You are almost living like a normal family. So why do you need to know this? Again because my parents screwed us all over... again. How is that? In two distinct yet relative ways.
Reason one was during their 70's wild color disco days they had these Chinese neighbors. They actually owned and ran the local Chinese restaurant. That place was my introduction to Wonton Soup and Sweet and Sour Pork. So therefore you must realize I am in no way shape or form making any racial statements against the Chinese (or any one culture in particular). So how did mom and dad screw the Peking Duck you ask? "Get to the point man". Well they knew that the entire staff of the restaurant lived in that two bedroom apartment. Now why did they not turn them in a make a big shitstink? Well now what did they do us? Nothing. As a matter of a fact they made it so a middle class family could afford to go out and eat. If the staff of 10-12 people needed to each find a domicile forget it. Chinese food would be as expensive as French food.
Its funny but one of my traits (and possibly an annoying one) is my rambling on and on about nonsense before I eventually get to the point. So back to mom and dad... Well they are fucking Capitalists ( you know that I am a Capitalist as well so watch it) so they need to make money. Big money. They sell widgets. They talk derivatives and short selling. They also invest in REIT's.. What is that you ask? Real Estate Investment Trusts. What exactly is that? Well that is basically a corporation that invests in real estate (for profit of course). So they have sold their freaking morals for profits. "Mikey dude what they hell does this have to do with you being paranoid"?
Well I happen to live in on of these complexes. College kids come and go. Corporations rent them for employee relocation's. Some families live here and then you have the Chinese family across the courtyard (remember I don't want to sound prejudice but WTF). So let me explain.
I live in a three bedroom two bathroom 1600 square foot apartment. That is much smaller than the McMansion you people live in but that is for an entire different post. We have a garage and laundry room on the ground floor and the remainder of the apartment is on the second floor. We have a small balcony off the living room to eat dinner on summer evenings (and to smoke until I quit). Now I am positive that the apartment across the courtyard is a mirror image of mine. So why am I fucking flipping out? Because they didn't move in... they invaded. The bedrooms are lined with bunk beds. I can't give an exact amount but generally feel a minimum of six people occupy each room. Now is that enough to freak me out. No way. My parents taught me that some people make sacrifices to get ahead. I'm truly compassionate to that. So why am I flipping out. What is the conspiracy? Why am I living in fear? The living room is lined with card tables. The 'neighbors' sit at these tables with laptops all day long. They also have a card table on the balcony with two of them on laptops. They attempt to mask their activities with sheets and blankets. So what the hell is going on in there? Are they hosting porn sites? Well than its all good. Are they running an import business? Computer programmers? Or are they some para-military unit? Are they hacking into my supposed to be secure wireless network and stealing peoples identities. Who the hell knows? But Mikey will find out. I will sacrifice life and limb to get to the bottom of it. And if it is your favorite porn site is being served to you via my hacked into my network don't be pissed to one night when it goes all fuzzy. It will be cuz I pulled all the wires outta my house and lined the walls with aluminum foil.

Early morning update... They are still out there...

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