Medieval Times and The Renaissance periods of history have long been a subject of interest to me. From Robin Hood to King Arthur somewhere in the minds of every boy and girl is the fascination with Kings and Queens, Knights and Kingdoms. Why is this vast time period of so much interest to us all and why do people continue in reevaluating its existence? To further stimulate my curiosity I went to a local Renaissance Faire this weekend to do some research. Of course I felt it is my civic duty to report on anything you wouldn't read about in the local newspaper which will obviously includes anything that pertains to eroticism, sex, and torture. Now of course you're looking at me like 'the dude has freaking lost it yet again'. Okay I am going to do a lot of assuming here. Most (or next to none) of these statements are based on actual verifiable facts and therefore are pure speculation and conjecture. As always my disclaimer...well you know if I've offended you... sorry as I truly do care that you are so fucking sensitive. So shall we begin?
First I do have great admiration for Anachronists. I often feel as though I don't belong in present day society but these people express and act upon it which they should be commended for. Thespians that perform 'live-action role playing' by dressing in period clothing, speaking in antiquated dialect and following a pseudo Monarchy is something I find fascinating. How people can go from their shitty Monday thru Friday lives to being the court jester or serving wench, receiving abuse for their own personal pleasure (and our amusement) is remarkable. They are often taunted, ridiculed and actually willingly participate in these acts. I spent some time watching a woman as she was being hogtied into a four-ply corset that was reinforced with "steel bone". To my amazement she seemed excited and aroused by the process which looked generally painful yet visually stimulating. She obviously just loved to dress in her provocative garb and wander around the kingdom playing her roll. Not only did her bust size increase exponentially, it was somewhat erotic (though she wasn't exactly my 'type') to see how she enjoyed enticing the common folk. How she willingly subjected herself to reduced blood circulation, perverse stares and possible sunburn of the cleavage and her elation by the attention aroused my interest. And why would she do this? For art? For her inability to function in modern day society or is she a sadomasochist? Is there anything wrong with public displays of subtle nudity or even self induced torture? I personally don't think so but is there more to these acts than was visible? That was what I needed to find out.
Now for the record this event was a family event and the actors and merchants knew it. They truly acted tastefully and entertained my family in this experience. Please don't fear a Renaissance Faire purely on my demented observations or delusion. The festivals are an excellent source for an educational weekend outing where you can observe life of a previous era. Now allow me to discuss some casual observations. The general objective to a Renaissance Faire is to recreate a former time period in history generally with the Middle Ages. Often these fairs are hosted by groups of reenactors that are heavily devoted to recreating the past as realistically as possible. They will generally dress, speak and act similar to the people from the era they are replicating. Often they will attempt to be as historically accurate as possible while others are simulating a "fantasy world" similar to Dungeons and Dragons or real to life "wargaming". The Faires are generally set up on a grassy field where rows of tents form a village type environment. At the far end of this village was the main stage for period dancing (belly dancing included) singing and juggling. The outskirts of this village housed the "game" fields for the events that included jousting, archery (including the atalatl), ax throwing and hand to hand combat. From my observations these "games" require great skill, strength and agility.
So to familiarize you with the "Kingdom" we will start with discussing the merchants as this was my first destination. One of the first shops I browsed in was the small arms dealer who only sold "historical replicas and throwing tools". Now these are only replicas of broadswords, battle axes, daggers and crossbows. Please realize these 'replicas' are purely designed for reenacting and not for mutilation, mayhem and torture. I must tell you I would be somewhat uncomfortable if I knew these 'replicas' were getting into the wrong hands but I am sure the merchants are professional and scrutinize all perspective customers. Besides how can you fault a merchant that also sells bullwhips, collars, shackles and leather handcuffs. These items are obviously intended to accurately reenact Medieval orgies and torture and thankfully aren't winding up in the bedrooms of middle class America (wink wink). Now as I previously stated this was a family type atmosphere and therefore obvious public displays of torture and uninhibited sex are not taking place. How do I know? Trust me because I was looking and if I saw anything I'd be the first to report it. Matter of a fact one of the merchants was polite enough to 'explain' to my children what many of the items he sold were intended for. There was a large wooden 'cutting board' for bread or cheese. Also the 'dog collars' for the pooch in black, red and purple ( with Stainless Steel or Chrome over Brass rings for "wink wink" durability). He also sold leather lashes and 'cat-o-nine tails' that luckily neither of us had to define to my overwhelmed children. But this vendor was cool and suave. He knew about his wares and just how to sell them. He asked me at least three or four times if I knew how to use the 'gear' and if I had 'any questions'. Needless to say he also sold some beautifully hand crafted armor and leather vambraces. He is a longtime armourer and therefore was extremely knowledgeable of the production as well as product testing of his equipment. Some of the other vendors were of less interest to me as they were only selling period jewelry, clothing and cutlery. You also had a couple of metal smiths fashioning steel swords and spears and of course the food vendors selling festival food as well as turkey legs. I must tell you I was somewhat disheartened by the lack of beer or wine but I'll get over it. Okay so on to some of the reenactors.
As I wondered about the 'Kingdom' I watched some of the different tournaments. One of the first I watched was the jousting. The arena was a large penned in area about the six of a football field. Running lengthwise down the field is a fence that separates the field in two halves. Armoured Knights on horseback ride towards each other in a semi-gallop with various weapons and proceed to stab and jab each other. Now of course these are all simulated duels and is very engaging to watch. You meet the 'Queen' and cheer on your Knight as he battles for victory.
The adjoining field consisted of so simple hay bales. They were primarily for the dressing of the Knights and assistants. Spectators were on the opposing side of a fence. These Knights were performing full contact hand to hand combat. The knights were dressed in full body armour that varied between steel and leather. The Knights wore metal helmets with face guards and the weapons that they used were wrapped with foam and duct tape.They jabbed and stabbed at each other with vicious blows to the head and torso as they attempted to drive their opponent to the ground. If you think just because the weapons were foamed that the warriors weren't fighting trust me, these were hard and fast blows generally resulting in the knights wrestling each other to the ground. The attacks are spontaneous and I'm sure painful but the actors always shake hands or give a hug to their opponent after each bout to show they are sportsmen.
Now my favorite event of the day was the archery. This was again a long fenced in field that was several yards long. At various distances were targets set up to ready to receive the days barrage of projectiles. We had long bows, short bows, axes and probably my favorite the atalatl. Allow me to proceed in proper order the sequence of events instead of rushing in to hear about my favorite event. As the archers line up in a row side by side (envision a Roman invasion) the archers take turns firing arrows at the various targets. The interesting thing is this targets varied in distance from the archers and they were shooting into a strong headwind. Now I haven't a clue on how to shoot an arrow but from my observations there is a technique to gauging height and distance as well as compensation for the wind. Now for some Mikey perversion that only I can appreciate... "Jane"? Yeah she arrived with a dude who looked to be of Hawaiian decent. They arrived with a full cache of weapons that included multiple longbows, various sheathes of arrows and spears. Now let me just tell you about "Jane". She was dressed in a bodice type top and skirt made of rawhide type leather. It was very primitive and therefore I had to stare. Now what I learned was how one properly tensions a long bow. "Jane" grabbed the bow with her hands, stepped on one end, lifted her other leg and pulled the bow string taught. Now I am admittedly a pervert but only in a journalistic manner. I saw "Jane's" underwear!!! Oh so now you want to know too. And I'm the pervert. Major disappointment. I thought the would be made of sheep's leather or something to go along with the 'theme'. Nope she was wearing so white lace bloomers. Jane if your reading this you need primal panties!!! Anyway on to the long bows. I overhead conversations on the proper arching of the wood, the release point of the arrow and the natural curve that the arrow launches in. This was relatively impressive and I could definitely see why the bow and arrow are some lethal. Now for the most interesting event, the firing of the atalatl. Okay I wrote this word three times and you didn't bother to look it up so I will give you a brief description. As one of the oldest weapons in history the atalatl consists of a long spear and a sling made of leather or wood. The sling accepts the back end of the spear and increases the velocity and thrust by projecting the spear forward. It isn't as accurate as the arrow but it is superior to hand throwing of the spear. We went through a series of alternating throws between Jane and her male acquaintance. I have seen an episode on the Discovery channel showcasing the atalatl and the puncturing of steel armour.
So on to the torture and orgies. I honestly don't have anything to report. I mean the merchants and actors had a full day in by the time I arrived and I'd envision a rough day again on Sunday before they cleaned up and went back to their normal selves. I'm sure some flogging and kink happens occasionally but I believe most of the participants are just to exhausted. Now I need to head to Pennsic. This is a two week long "war" in western Pennsylvania where people really "live" the era. I want to see the 'iron maidens' and 'pillory torture'. This I hear is not for families or the faint at heart.... I am so there....
One thing that thankfully the reenactors didn't try to recreate was the "smell" of Medieval times.
To be completed and continued later... This will be an ongoing quest...
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